Dia De Los Muertos 2015


This week was Dia de los Muertos or Day of the Dead. I thought about those who have passed in my family. My grandparents have passed. They were the most closest in my family circle.  Though there has been other family members who have passed, they were far in Mexico so our contact to them was frequent; when news of their passing came, it never phased me. I only would acknowledged and move along.  Now,  I think of Nana y Dae or Da’, I believe, was my attempt to call my grandfather “daddy”, just like my little niece calls me “Titi” instead of “Tio”.  Occasionally, here and there, I think of their troubles and tribulations, how they supported themselves and have thought about how different the times were then.  She never had a real occupation nor education. He worked in menial labor. Yet I see the generational difference and how my siblings and I, are in another  level of economic and class.



Debt No More

I am finished. I made the last payment. El último.  The last payment to a credit card that had this amount of debt that has crippled me for close to seven years.

This was coming. I realized it was possible to do it so early (I originally planned it till November, managing all the payments and so forth) because of several factors, one being that I had a little savings accumulated and decided to use it to get out of that problem. So now it’s over. It has hit me only in spurts, when I realize that I had nor more due to Chase, Citi and Barclaycard, this smile appears, sometimes or when thinking of being laid-off at my day job, the thoughts of dread would dissipate when I realize there is nothing due to those three monsters.  It is a good feeling yet the last week; though I have been privately pondering how I ever got into that problem in the first place?  I knew, how I got into it, but the reasons I got into debt I recollect and wished I never did them in the first place. Unnecessary purchases, thinking I could pay them off, thinking I had a plan to pay it soon yet it was only thereafter, I would loose the majority of income that was entering in my account.



Summer 2015

I like the sunny weather. I like the heat. I guess I like the desert. One thing I will miss when I leave here. I guess it’s the weather.  The grilling of meats and drinking of cerveza.  I like these summer weekends.  My grandfather, left a bunch of old vinyl records, there is an old record player also. Instead of using current digital technology, I prop up the player and listen to those records.  They’re old records from Mexico. A few titles that my grandfather left behind.  Some of these are scratched, but a lot of them are still good. There is something different listening to them. Adds to the ambiance. Add my little niece coming over to swim, these are good days.

This is the busiest time of the year for me. I teach class and with my job I have no time for anything else. By the end of the week I am exhausted and at least try to read and write something during these weeks. Then I am reminded by someone who told me, “Hey, it’s a paycheck”.  Yeah. It is. It’s going to help me get out of that final stretch in debt. I know I’ll have a lot to talk about on that theme once it is over.  Hopefully, that creative side will kick in once all I get this all over.


Double Consciousness

Since last week, I was introduced to the works of W.E.B Du Bois. For this, I have to thank the seminar I attended last week in Madison. It has been something that was almost a revelation, yet I knew it, but I could not put it into concrete terms or some kind of reality for me. This is something I sense, within and everywhere I go.  “Double Consciousness” as Du Bois so eloquently wrote, is the reality, I as Chicano, a Mexican in the eyes of all, I experience in this country.

At the seminar, I was speaking to a colleague where she expressed a study on Starbucks failed experiment where they tried to bring race discourse in a transaction of commodities. I stated to her of my experience in being a Barista, working in Starbucks, when there was a revelation that, working within the service industry that short time (I needed a quick job after loosing the majority of my classes at the university) I realized it was one of the most racist employment experiences I ever had. Working in Starbucks was, to me, like being, like Du Bois states, within a veil. Now is not the time to write what it was that I experienced, but the point is that there was a state of double consciousness, for me, at least.

Yet this is the reality I live in and many are not realizing it.  Anyway, it was a great time in Madison and hopefully I’ll be accepted into next year’s conference. Now to work on that proposal and other readings.



Great time in Wisconsin, at the  University of Wisconsin-Madison.      




Flying right now. As for now a smooth flight. Other than that, happy for wifi in flights. 


The Carnival in the iPhone

Just finished another conference. This time it was weird. I think the time just passed quickly. But to be honest. There is one thing I learned and it was Bakhtin’s notion of Carnivalesque. A person did a presentation on it and it had me thinking. I even brought it up in the discussion. This idea of never leaving this circular carnival. I thought about this because my phone was failing this whole week. The iPhone for some reason just freezes and it was frustrating. Rebooting it constantly, it had me completely angry. Seriously, during the time Barcelona was playing and I couldn’t follow on Twitter.

I thought how goddamned connected I was to that iPhone. Though it is not only my connection to the phone but the idea that I am connected to the rest of the world. That carnival the rest of the world is having and I am not a part of. This seamless interconnectivity has me vexed. Just now, after working for almost a day, it began failing. Again, I’m away from that carnival. Yet for a moment I think wait, maybe this is good. My attention will be on what I need to be doing. Not the shit that is happening on Twitter. But that detachment is difficult. In class I always make the remark of my experience of having the iPhone in my hands. It was a revolutionary moment for me.

Just an interesting observation. I only wonder when this carnival will end and will I ever be able to not agitate myself from knowing is my team scored and what people are thinking of it.


Only in Burque

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At the Soutwest Pop Culture Association Conference again. This made me laugh when I went to get a cup of coffee.


Drafts, drafts, drafts

Went through my presentation. Funny how every year I’m surprised by the time of presentation and page count. Time to cut and shape. SWPCA next week. Looking forward to it. After it’s going to be busy. Another conference in the horizon in June. In between, other small projects and a lot of reading; also trying to keep up with this blog as well.



Thoughts 1-31-15

Photo on 1-31-15 at 10.02 AMOff to another conference in two weeks. There is a lot still to do.  There is another project that is coming into light while I get out of this debt. Don’t want say too much about it. Other than that, it’s time to look at the paper I am going to present on.

Superbowl tomorrow. Hope the Seahawks win.

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